Learning How To Lead

Learning to be a good leader is an awesome thing. I learn something everyday! Figuring out things that make people respond in a positive way is great. The biggest thing that I have learned is to be myself, be humble and admit that I can learn something from the people that I supervise, treat them with respect, and make my expectations clear. Like I have mentioned before, Im learning from a great group of men who clearly have a vision of what great leadership is. I have a boss who is willing to help me be a great leader. Some say that being a female who is leading mostly men has its complications, and I suppose it does, but I feel that as long as I do me and no one else it will be alright. I want everyone to respect me as a good leader and not just the position. Im just gonna keep on learning!

Things Being Put Into Prospective

This past week has been very interesting! I had two co-workers who suddenly lost their fathers! With that came funerals. Both men were loved and very well respected. Sitting in those funerals, made me think....... how would I be remembered if I died tomorrow? I know that both of these great men who were laid to rest showed a lot of people love through out their lives, and it showed. I will be more conscious of how im living and treating people. I would never want a random preacher to have to stand up and make some random speech about my life. This week just made me think... alot! Its easy to gripe about family and loved ones, but everyone is just a phone call away from what my two friends endured this week. My question to everyone is if you went tomorrow, how would be remembered? If you don't like what the answer is, then take steps to change! If you don't know the answer get an opinion from a family member or friend.

Let Go

I got this on email, thought it was pretty dead on! And covers many bases!

By T... D. Jakes
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keeptrying to raise the dead.. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.... ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him.........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. .......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ............

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

'The Battle is the Lord's!'

Life Is Short

Life is short! Be thankful for the family and friends that you have in your life. Tell them you love him and for those of us who have a hard time saying "I love you" show them that you love them. With family and friends, its clear most of the time....I know my parents love me, we have LOTS of family friends who love us as a family, its great! See in my career we have to be a little closer then the norm. On a random day my captain ( the best leader in the organization) had us stand together in the middle of the briefing room, he prayed for us and told us he loved each and every one of us! Wow! Thats a day that I will never forget, he was genuine, I know he meant it. I guess that why people would follow him anywhere through whatever. Take advantage of them while they are here. I hear so often people griping about their family, well remember they can be gone in the next instant!

Giving Thanks

Well its thanksgiving morning and im up right breathing in and out so thats the first thing to be thankful for. I have really struggled over the last month with not finding that "right one" and being able to start a family. I have had several friends give birth to beautiful children and many get in engaged. Its so easy to ask; whats wrong with me, why not me, what do I do that is so wrong? Having faith is a struggle for me! Right now I truly believe that God has omitted the whole fairy tale life for me ie husband, and children. After a deep long discussion with my roomie Quenna, (who is in the same boat that im in) it became clear that I have sooooo much to be thankful for. I received a quazi promotion at work that will hopefully be permanent with in the year. With that, God put me with the best group of people at the PD to start with, I will learn so much from the people I work along side of! I own my own home that I have not missed a payment on, I am healthy, I have a job, an AMAZING FAMLIY, and great friends. A friend of mine, her little boy went to the doctor last thursday with what they thought was a bad sinus infection, well..... it was a brain tumor that was making him very sick! He had surgery on Tuesday and hopefully the doctors were able to remove it! Im gonna pray for faith to trust that God is helping me avoid a lot of uneccesary situations by delaying my time! He has shown me situations daily that I could be in, however I have been blessed with the talent and opportunity to learn from others mistakes and success!

The Period of Change

My life has been a whirl wind of change over the last month. The change has been good, but I always hate the transition of change! Sleep has come easy thank god! However working night shift really shows how empty my life really is, working second shift is a good way to cover up that fact. The next year will definitely be interesting for sure! Work is great but if I could someday tie up the loose ends in the rest of my life that would be great. Oh well im not gonna lose too much sleep over it, im gonna put on my seat belt and hold on for the ride and see what happens!

To whom it may concern

This letter is to the man I will one day spend the rest of my life with. I don't know who you are, or if you exist. I don't know if we have met or if you are a total stranger at this point. Whoever you are, I promise to love you til death do us part. I will thank God everyday for sending me the man of my dreams. When people say, you all have the best relationship, or I wish I had a relationship like yours, I will not boast, I will be humble and thank God once again. I will be there for you through thick and thin, I will love you and everything that comes with you, your mother, your father, and children if you have them. I you have children I promise to love them as if they are my own. I will weather the storm and will always be right there by your side. To make our unconditional love last, I promise I will do whatever needs to be done! Yeah yeah I know thats all parts of my favorite song (Can you stand the rain) but nothing explains it better. I just want you to know that I need somebody who will always stand by me, when its touchy, you won't run, I need to know that you will always be right there for me too! If we can agree on those things, I promise that you will have the most faithful, loyal, loving wife any man could ever have.

I have no idea what level I just got on but it was deep. I think its because im becoming a year older and my emotions are high! I will be back to normal on the 5th:)

Things that are great

The other day, I was day dreaming of things that are just simply great. Here they go;

Finding money that you didn't know you had in your coat or pants pocket

The first bite of your favorite food

Laughing do hard that your face hurts

Acing a test of some sort

A shade tree

Waking up from a dead sleep, looking at the clock and realizing that you have hours of sleep left

Hearing a great song for the first time

Christmas day with the whole family

Hitting a softball with the sweet spot of the bat

A genuine hug from somebody you love

A kiss from my mom, that leaves lipstick on my cheeks

An ice cold coke in a glass bottle

The smell of a new car

A pedicure

Spending quality time with your best friends

Laying on the beach

Reading a good book

The kick from the gears shifting on a crotch rocket

There are so many more, but its the simple things in life that are great. As I grow, I learn to appreciate the little things.

Big Changes!!!

In the last couple of weeks, big changes have come for me. The change has been at work, I have been given a great opportunity. This opportunity came unexpected and very quick! The biggest adjustment is that I wont be working directly with the group of people that I have worked with for six years. That is really weird! Challenges will come, but im ready to take them head on! Once again, I have such a wonderful family and great friends, along with working for a great organization, so I know I will be alright!

Family and friends like family!!

Im taking time to appreciate how blessed I am to have such a great family, and those family friends so close that are like family. There are so many people that I see that don't have that aspect in their lives. I have been blessed to have parents who exposed me to little to no drama my entire life growing up and as days go by I am really appreciating that. No matter what happens in my life, I can always go home, or call them for ANYTHING! I have also been blessed to have people in my life who are also just like family, who constantly show me unconditional love! Through anything I will ever go through, I have sooooo many people in my corner, who want me to do good. Those people eliminate anyone around me who do not want me to succeed. I am not rich with money but im filthy rich in love! Some people are envious or jealous because their situation is not the same, I only hope those people will learn to receive the love that people do attempt to give them, however its hard for those who have gone all their life without it! And for the record, that love that I hope they learn to receive is not the love from a companion, but genuine unconditional love!

This week

This week, I have felt like doing absolutely nothing, however that was not an option. I hosted a baby shower for one of my bests friends. I was not blessed with the talent to be creative or hospitable but I am blessed to have a really awesome friend who without question steps up time and time again and helps me out. I missed my ten year class reunion, because I just didn't have the energy to go and tell people over and over that I am not married, no kids, and im not rich. I will probably regret it because there were a lot of people there that I haven't seen in a long time. My co-workers were able to convince me to take Sunday off and spend the day tailgating, playing corn hole at the Titans game. That was a good time spent with good friends. Work this week was mostly uneventful which is always ok. I did hear a song on the radio that disturbed me to no end, it was called "Papers" by Usher. It's a song talking about signing divorce papers! I mean really! People want to know why im so bitter about marriage, but divorce is constantly in my face! I know there are marriages that are great, I mean my parents have been married 33 years, my grandparents 60 years who are both great examples. Its a shame that if you are married for 20 plus years you are abnormal! That picture is of my grandparents; Harold and Sorena, 60 years and counting, every day is a blessing!

My Idols

These girls are all my idols! With the exception of Beyonce, you don't hear much about these chicks in the main stream media because usually the Jon and Kate Plus 8 saga or what Brad and Angelina are doing is way more important! Sanaa Lathan, Lauren London and Taraji P. Henson are who the other girls are. They are great actresses who have start in approximately 30 top box office hits combined. I idols these women because they are independent, beautiful and rich on their own talents! When I mention these chicks in convo with some of my friends, they have no clue who they are!

Odd Man Out

For most of my life, I have been the odd man out in one way or the other. Either its because im the only person in the group with no boyfriend or the only black person. Over time this has become very frustrating and all of a sudden one day I just woke up angry! The bad part is that I didnt know why, because I have great friends whom I love dearly. I guess it has just all mounted up over time especially at work. I think I realized in June that some of so called closest friends have no idea who I really am because I have spent all my effort attempting to fit into someone else's world and I just don't have the energy to do that anymore. I was frustrated because I am hardly ever in my comfort zone. I did recently go on an awesome trip to Chicago and even though I was the seventh wheel, I had an amazing time with some of my best friends. It was nice because number one it was a diverse group of people and I didn't feel like I had in anybody else's gear in life. All those friends in the picture above I have made through work, I work with the three guys and those are there wives/fiance's. Even though there are some co-workers that I feel understand and really know me, there are a lot of close friends at work that I feel like don't have a clue, and its mostly my female co-workers. I suppose this is my fault because when I got hired I was and still am the only black female so my thinking was come in, lay as low as possible and not ruffle and feathers. With that I just found myself in our outings just doing whatever the group did really keeping my way of life to myself because I figured they wouldn't get it or just didn't want to know. I mean the music that I like, the movies I watch, the shows I watch, the way my family works etc, I feel incredibly different in that group! I mean it wasn't until I started working there that I have every been told my family was different or weird because my parents are married, they have raised me in a pretty much peaceful enviorment, and was able to provide for me like parents should. Through high school and college, thats the way all my other friends had it too so it wasn't abnormal! Even though, I love all my girls at work to death and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them because they have been there for me in a lot of ways and are an important part of my life. Im not gonna beat a dead horse about always being the fifth wheel. Thats the way its been from middle school. All my friends had guys that wanted to date them and I never got much attention. I had pretty friends in school so the guys would act like they wanted to hang out with me and then I would soon find that it was only to get to one of my girls. Over time this lowered my self esteem so I have made my own defense mechanism against it. Im just gonna assume that this part of my life will never change sense at this point any guy that tries to talk to me, I can't stand for one reason or another. I just decided sense I got kicked to the curb so often in the past, Im gonna make I hard hell for any guy to get close to me and I have been rather successful at that, its kind of fun. There is just somethings I won't budge on when it comes to men because im a scorpio and I know what I want, when I see it, I will quit being so difficult. Oh it will take a real special man to get me to pay any attention to them! Holla, I catch yall on the next go round!

Just Getting Started

Well im pretty new to this blogging thing. People tell me that I have difficulty expressing my feeling so here it goes. I frequently like to put post on Facebook that generate a lot of conversation so I figured I would start my own blog spot. I have also been told I have an issue with commitment so we will see if I can stay committed to this. Im gonna spend a few days rounding up some followers and then I will post a blog in a few days. If something ticks me off in the next five minutes or 24 hours, a blog may come sooner.