Big Changes!!!

In the last couple of weeks, big changes have come for me. The change has been at work, I have been given a great opportunity. This opportunity came unexpected and very quick! The biggest adjustment is that I wont be working directly with the group of people that I have worked with for six years. That is really weird! Challenges will come, but im ready to take them head on! Once again, I have such a wonderful family and great friends, along with working for a great organization, so I know I will be alright!

Family and friends like family!!

Im taking time to appreciate how blessed I am to have such a great family, and those family friends so close that are like family. There are so many people that I see that don't have that aspect in their lives. I have been blessed to have parents who exposed me to little to no drama my entire life growing up and as days go by I am really appreciating that. No matter what happens in my life, I can always go home, or call them for ANYTHING! I have also been blessed to have people in my life who are also just like family, who constantly show me unconditional love! Through anything I will ever go through, I have sooooo many people in my corner, who want me to do good. Those people eliminate anyone around me who do not want me to succeed. I am not rich with money but im filthy rich in love! Some people are envious or jealous because their situation is not the same, I only hope those people will learn to receive the love that people do attempt to give them, however its hard for those who have gone all their life without it! And for the record, that love that I hope they learn to receive is not the love from a companion, but genuine unconditional love!

This week

This week, I have felt like doing absolutely nothing, however that was not an option. I hosted a baby shower for one of my bests friends. I was not blessed with the talent to be creative or hospitable but I am blessed to have a really awesome friend who without question steps up time and time again and helps me out. I missed my ten year class reunion, because I just didn't have the energy to go and tell people over and over that I am not married, no kids, and im not rich. I will probably regret it because there were a lot of people there that I haven't seen in a long time. My co-workers were able to convince me to take Sunday off and spend the day tailgating, playing corn hole at the Titans game. That was a good time spent with good friends. Work this week was mostly uneventful which is always ok. I did hear a song on the radio that disturbed me to no end, it was called "Papers" by Usher. It's a song talking about signing divorce papers! I mean really! People want to know why im so bitter about marriage, but divorce is constantly in my face! I know there are marriages that are great, I mean my parents have been married 33 years, my grandparents 60 years who are both great examples. Its a shame that if you are married for 20 plus years you are abnormal! That picture is of my grandparents; Harold and Sorena, 60 years and counting, every day is a blessing!

My Idols

These girls are all my idols! With the exception of Beyonce, you don't hear much about these chicks in the main stream media because usually the Jon and Kate Plus 8 saga or what Brad and Angelina are doing is way more important! Sanaa Lathan, Lauren London and Taraji P. Henson are who the other girls are. They are great actresses who have start in approximately 30 top box office hits combined. I idols these women because they are independent, beautiful and rich on their own talents! When I mention these chicks in convo with some of my friends, they have no clue who they are!

Odd Man Out

For most of my life, I have been the odd man out in one way or the other. Either its because im the only person in the group with no boyfriend or the only black person. Over time this has become very frustrating and all of a sudden one day I just woke up angry! The bad part is that I didnt know why, because I have great friends whom I love dearly. I guess it has just all mounted up over time especially at work. I think I realized in June that some of so called closest friends have no idea who I really am because I have spent all my effort attempting to fit into someone else's world and I just don't have the energy to do that anymore. I was frustrated because I am hardly ever in my comfort zone. I did recently go on an awesome trip to Chicago and even though I was the seventh wheel, I had an amazing time with some of my best friends. It was nice because number one it was a diverse group of people and I didn't feel like I had in anybody else's gear in life. All those friends in the picture above I have made through work, I work with the three guys and those are there wives/fiance's. Even though there are some co-workers that I feel understand and really know me, there are a lot of close friends at work that I feel like don't have a clue, and its mostly my female co-workers. I suppose this is my fault because when I got hired I was and still am the only black female so my thinking was come in, lay as low as possible and not ruffle and feathers. With that I just found myself in our outings just doing whatever the group did really keeping my way of life to myself because I figured they wouldn't get it or just didn't want to know. I mean the music that I like, the movies I watch, the shows I watch, the way my family works etc, I feel incredibly different in that group! I mean it wasn't until I started working there that I have every been told my family was different or weird because my parents are married, they have raised me in a pretty much peaceful enviorment, and was able to provide for me like parents should. Through high school and college, thats the way all my other friends had it too so it wasn't abnormal! Even though, I love all my girls at work to death and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them because they have been there for me in a lot of ways and are an important part of my life. Im not gonna beat a dead horse about always being the fifth wheel. Thats the way its been from middle school. All my friends had guys that wanted to date them and I never got much attention. I had pretty friends in school so the guys would act like they wanted to hang out with me and then I would soon find that it was only to get to one of my girls. Over time this lowered my self esteem so I have made my own defense mechanism against it. Im just gonna assume that this part of my life will never change sense at this point any guy that tries to talk to me, I can't stand for one reason or another. I just decided sense I got kicked to the curb so often in the past, Im gonna make I hard hell for any guy to get close to me and I have been rather successful at that, its kind of fun. There is just somethings I won't budge on when it comes to men because im a scorpio and I know what I want, when I see it, I will quit being so difficult. Oh it will take a real special man to get me to pay any attention to them! Holla, I catch yall on the next go round!

Just Getting Started

Well im pretty new to this blogging thing. People tell me that I have difficulty expressing my feeling so here it goes. I frequently like to put post on Facebook that generate a lot of conversation so I figured I would start my own blog spot. I have also been told I have an issue with commitment so we will see if I can stay committed to this. Im gonna spend a few days rounding up some followers and then I will post a blog in a few days. If something ticks me off in the next five minutes or 24 hours, a blog may come sooner.